the softies has a song called "the beginning of the end". i'm in love with that phrase.

it captures the bittersweetness melancholy of the present. a present that will only last a moment, and then become a memory. but moments come, and moments go.

where can we find a pause button?

sometimes it would be so tempting to just FREEZE. and stop. stop, stop, stop right now. cause in that moment everything was perfect.

is it cynical to believe that everything will end? to already predict the end when things have barely started? perhaps it will just allow us to treasure things even more. i feel like i'm in no control of the present that changes far to fast for my mind to grasp. i'm just being pulled by the wave, hopefully not drowning.

right now, i'm still afloat.

how come time flies?

i've said and heard this phrase far too many times, and it just never ceases to be true. is it because we're getting older? are we just having more fun? or are we just too busy?

i'm usually good at organising my time, and make things work. but sometimes (like lately) it's just impossible. there's too much, and you lose control. everything becomes spontaneous, and whatever you feel like in the moment (which is usally not studying, it is way too low on list of priorities). i really don't want life to pass by this fast... like a rapid stream, it just hurls and hurls and it's gone. and i'll be in shock. like, what just happened?

perhaps i need to learn to say "no" to certain things. but then... what's the fun in that? and if i was to think very qma-style of maximization, i would say that the only binding constraint is my sleep, and if i sleep less i will have more time to live. but i'm always so sleepy and tired...

so, i guess i will just have to acquire new wings and fly with time. somehow...